When your loved one receives a dementia diagnosis, the word “thrive” might feel impossible. You’re probably wondering how someone can flourish while facing memory loss. Here’s the truth: thriving doesn’t mean returning to who they were before. It means finding joy, comfort, and dignity in who they are right now.
What Does Thriving Look Like?
For your mom, thriving might mean lighting up when she hears her favorite song from the 1960s. For your father, it could be engaging memory care activities like folding towels—a task that gives him purpose even when he can’t remember your name. Thriving is deeply personal and constantly evolving.
You’ll know it when you see it. A genuine smile. A moment of clarity. These aren’t small victories—they’re everything.
Changing The Physical Surroundings
The physical space around your loved one speaks volumes before they even process what’s happening. Familiar objects anchor them to pleasant memories. That old photo of the family vacation. The quilt they made decades ago. Their favorite coffee mug.
Remove the chaos. Too many choices overwhelm someone with dementia. Instead of asking “What would you like for breakfast?” try “Would you like oatmeal or toast?” Simple decisions preserve their autonomy without causing frustration.
Lighting matters more than you might think. Bright, natural light during the day helps maintain sleep cycles. Soft lighting in the evening signals rest time. Harsh fluorescent bulbs can increase agitation and confusion.
Change How You Communicate With Your Loved One
You’ve probably noticed that conversations feel different now. That’s okay. Your loved one is still there—you just need new ways to connect.
Slow down your speech. Use simple, concrete words instead of abstract concepts. Instead of saying “We should get going soon,” try “Let’s put on your coat now.” Be specific and present-focused.
Your tone carries more weight than your words. They may not remember what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel. Approach them calmly, even when you’re stressed. Your energy becomes their energy.
Don’t correct every mistake. If they think you’re their sister instead of their daughter, sometimes it’s kinder to go along with it. Ask yourself: does correcting this serve them, or does it serve your need to be right?
Be Realistic With Your Goals
Forget the ambitious to-do lists. Success might look like getting dressed without a struggle or enjoying a meal together. These aren’t lowered expectations—they’re appropriate ones.
Focus on their remaining abilities rather than what they’ve lost. Can they still hum along to music? Excellent—make music part of their day. Do they remember how to set the table? Let them help when they’re able.
Happiness To Be Found
Thriving happens in fleeting moments, not grand gestures. It’s the way they pet a therapy dog or laugh at an old joke. These moments might be brief, but they’re profound.
Connect through their senses. The smell of fresh bread might transport them to their childhood kitchen. Soft fabric can be soothing to touch. Music often reaches them when words cannot.
Remember that you’re not trying to bring back the person they used to be. You’re honoring and caring for the person they are now. In this acceptance, both of you can find peace and, yes, moments where life feels full again.
Thriving with dementia isn’t about conquering the disease—it’s about living meaningfully alongside it.
