Beginning counselling might be a little daunting, isn’t it? You might wonder what to say, how much to share, or even if you’re “doing it right.”

Here’s the truth—you don’t need to be perfect. The purpose of counselling is to be truthful, not to act. And when you know how to communicate openly with your counsellor, the real breakthroughs begin. You’ll start making sense of your thoughts, emotions, and decisions in ways that felt impossible before.

Whether it’s your first session or your fiftieth, these simple strategies can help you build a stronger connection with your counsellor—and make every conversation more meaningful.

Let’s walk through seven key tips to help you communicate better, feel heard, and make real progress.

1. Be honest—even when it’s hard

It’s tempting to hold back, especially if something feels embarrassing, confusing or painful. But counselling isn’t about impressing someone—it’s about healing.

So, speak your truth. If you’re feeling numb, lost, or unsure how to describe what’s going on, say that. You don’t need polished answers. You just need to be real. The more open you are, the more your counsellor can support you in ways that actually help.

2. Express how you feel right now

If you’re uncomfortable during the session, or you’re not connecting with something your counsellor said—speak up. Maybe you’re feeling frustrated, confused, or even judged. That feedback is important.

Your sessions are for you. If anything is bothering you, you should let your counsellor know. It’s all part of creating a safe, trusting relationship where you feel heard and respected.

3. Ask questions—don’t hold back

You might wonder: “Is this normal?” “Why am I reacting like this?” or “What can I do better the following session?”

Ask.

A good counsellor welcomes your curiosity. In fact, questions often lead to the most insightful parts of a session. So if something doesn’t make sense, or you’re unsure about the process, go ahead and ask. The more you understand, the more you grow.

4. Talk about what’s working—and what isn’t

Not every approach fits everyone. You might prefer practical tools over deep emotional work. Or maybe you want more structure, or less.

Let your counsellor know.

Counselling isn’t one-size-fits-all. Most effective effects arise when it is specifically designed for you. So talk about what feels helpful and what doesn’t. That way, you and your counsellor can adjust the pace, style, or focus to better suit your needs.

5. Set goals together

You don’t need a five-year plan. But having a sense of what you want from counselling—feeling less anxious, improving relationships, sleeping better—gives your sessions direction.

Don’t worry if your goals shift over time. That’s natural. What matters is being honest about what you need right now. Your counsellor is there to walk beside you, not push you down a path that doesn’t fit.

6. Keep track between sessions

Ever had a moment in the middle of the week where something clicks—but you forget by the next session?

It helps to jot things down. Whether it’s a thought, a dream, or a tough moment, keeping a small journal or note on your phone can make your sessions more productive. These reflections often lead to powerful insights when shared in the room.

7. Speak up about timing and logistics

Struggling with timing, frequency, or even the format of your sessions (in-person vs. online)? It’s acceptable to discuss that as well.

Life changes, and your counselling setup should work for you. Whether you’re exploring counselling in Victoria BC for the first time or continuing therapy long-term, being clear about your availability and comfort levels helps keep things on track.

A word on trust

If something feels off, or you’re unsure whether you’ve found the right fit—that’s okay to acknowledge. A strong therapeutic relationship takes time, and it’s okay to explore other options if you need to.

At places like NeurAlive Counselling & Neurofeedback, the focus is on creating a space that feels safe, personalised, and free from judgement—so you feel comfortable showing up as you are.

Final thoughts

Communicating with your counsellor effectively isn’t about doing it “right.” It’s about showing up. Being honest. Asking questions. And giving yourself permission to grow, one conversation at a time.

Remember, you’re not in this alone. Your counsellor is there to walk beside you—no judgement, no pressure, just support.

You’ve taken the first step by seeking help. Now take the next step by speaking up, being real, and letting the process work for you.